An Unforgettable Experience draft one
It was an interesting and exciting trip. But for me, it was so unforgettable. I took a graduation-trip with my elementary high classmates. On the sightseeing bus, we were singing, eating, chatting and yelling. We took some amusing pictures. When we arrived the destination, we had a lot of activities, such as mountain-climbing, barbecue, and campfire party. On the mountain which sight was unspeakable. We had a picnic on the mountaintop. After the meal, we also took quantities of wonderful photos. In the afternoon, we started preparing for the barbecue and campfire party. While the barbecue was beginning, we liked a hungry tiger pouncing on its prey. All of us kept eating until we couldn’t eat anymore. Finishing the action, we moved on the campfire party place. We held high emotion whole night. Of course, to take a huge amount of pictures was indispensable. When we ended up the trip we commenced to return. On the way home, all of a sudden, I found that I forgot to put the negative in my camera. It was one of the most unforgettable experiences that I have ever had in my life.
posted by 郭包子 @ 6:44 AM
3 Comments:
"It was an interesting and exciting trip. But for me, it was so unforgettable."
前面一句加個for most people,這樣跟下一句一起看時才會顯的比較順喔~~
不過如果第一句提到的feeling妳也有,第二句應該還要再加個also
"While the barbecue was beginning, we liked a hungry tiger pouncing on its prey. "
like如果當"像"是介係詞喔,不是ed而是要加動詞
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What is "elementary high classmates"?
When we arrived "at" the destination.
On the mountain which sight was unspeakable"?"
後面的文章沒有形容到風景，所以這ㄧ句會感覺是多出來的!!
感覺妳都寫吃的比較多說!!哈哈
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