Unquiet Morning-draft one
Timmy's father is a pretty kind person, but he dislikes people lying to him. This morning, Timmy's father found that Timmy was going to hide his report card. So he became very angry. He snapped at Timmy about his behavior.Timmy's father reproached for a long time. Timmy felt so sorry about this and he promised he never do it again. However Timmy's father discovered something amazing. The report card, the name on it, wasn't Timmy's name. It's a big misunderstanding. Timmy was relieved and they smiled into each other's eyes.
posted by 郭包子 @ 9:26 AM
6 Comments:
Timmy's father reproached for a long time.
→reproached後面加個him
However Timmy's father discovered something amazing.
→However換成Suddenly感覺比較好
很不錯的創意耶~
Timmy felt so sorry about this and he promised he never do it again.
never的前面是不是要加would之類的...?
文章的內容很有想像力一一!
Timmy felt so sorry about this and he promised he never do it again.
he promised that he，加個that
打的不錯，大家的意見就是我的意見，都被說完惹..
...he never do it again.
→would never do that again.
會比較好吧*
However Timmy's father discovered something amazing.
→句尾+個later也可以吧*
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